When I first started participating in this event just three years ago, my wife Kendra and I were new moms, and only five states recognized same-sex marriage. Now that number has grown to 19, the federal government recognizes same-sex marriages, and we became a family of five when our twins were born last August.
While the world around us is changing and beginning to embrace families like ours, we have been busy too. We took Addie on an epic cross-country road trip when she was 11 months old, and then to Europe when she was almost two. At three, she began preschool and potty training. She’s almost done her first year, and now can spell her own name, memorize all the songs from Frozen, and count to 13; but oh how we have struggled with potty training. We’re still working on that one…
After over two years of frustrating failed IUI and IVF attempts, a miscarriage, and a chemical pregnancy, Evan and Kate were born. Just days later, we found out Evan has multiple cardiac defects, and were suddenly thrust into a community of heart moms. Since then, we’ve learned a lot about how the human heart works, and have watched Evan defy all expectations.
And then there are the everyday things. Dirty dishes that need cleaning, floors that need to be swept, and laundry the needs to be folded. We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, milestones and achievements with each other, our extended families and friends. We cry, lean on each other, and stick together during the hard times. Most days the legal status of our family never even enters our minds because we are too busy being a family.
Yet laws do matter. The changes over the last few years have profoundly affected our little family – particularly the Supreme Court’s decision to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act. No longer do we pay taxes on our health insurance policy. For the first time this spring, we filed a joint federal tax return.
The laws and opinions in this country are finally reflecting what Kendra and I have known all along – our family is just like any other. We’re just an ordinary two-mom family. We love, fight, have dreams and fears, read our kids bedtime stories, run out of diapers, soothe our babies, and laugh. A lot. Because really, when you are experiencing the tumultuous life of parenthood, laughter does make it easier.
Make sure you check out all of the other Blogging for LGBTQ Families posts at Mombian.com!